Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Holi After Effects

Define Bhaang - Bhang (Hindi: भाँग) is a preparation from the leaves and flowers (buds) of the female cannabis plant, consumed as a beverage in the Indian subcontinent. - Courtesy Wikipedia

Yes, It was Holi yesterday (17th March 2014) and I love Bhaang.
I eat bhaang, I drink thandaai  and I feel all screwed up the next morning

18th March 2014, 9.45am
Place: Work

Oh fuck, my head, its blasting
I look like a zombie. I feel like a zombie. My brain is dead. Im making no sense.
My limbs are falling off.
Im in a trance state. I have no idea how I got into the train and reached work. Auto-pilot mode.

My hair looks as if I just stuck my finger in a plug point.
My eyes is droopy and so is my head.

I might just fall flat on my face anywhere and sleep.

Om Namah Shivay

God, Im so Bhaang-over, Help me through the day
and I wissssss.......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz *falls flat on the desk*

Picture Courtesy: Google Images

Friday, March 14, 2014

Lucky and Alive

One day.
One Semi fatal accident in the middle of nowhere
Saved by some strangers in a bloody semi-concious state.
Feeling dizzy, opening the eyes and overhearing Mom saying "My baby is alive. Thank God, My baby is alive"
For once, I feel like I touched heaven and came back.

This post was written for the Five Sentence Fiction - Lucky for Lille McFerrin

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

When do you plan to get married?

The inspiration for this post came from this article i read on http://bbc.in/1jQkrJ9

I thought I was the only one who was going through "old enough to have babies but still aren't married thing"

There are so many others our there going through this syndrome, not just in India, in China too.

"Ideal" age for a girl to marry is till 25, post 25 she is "old"...Like seriously? Are you fucking kidding me?

Every time a younger girl gets married and we get that glossy invitation at home.
My Dad has this "Why-not-my-daughter" look and Mom being Mom makes her concerns more audible "Look, kids younger to you are getting married"

Mom and Dad check the matrimonial websites and books, "See that, they are  searching for a bride for a 25 year old boy"
"Dee, You have to marry soon, else no one will give a second look at you"

Well, I look younger to my age, Yes I really do!
And, I don't get just 2nd look, I get the 3rd, the 4th, the 5th.....looks, So that concern is eliminated

I very regularly keep getting these comments like

"What are your plans for marriage?" (None of your business)
"Ahh, Next is you" (Thanks, for letting me know that Crystal Ball)
"Shadi ka khana kab khila rahi hai?" (Itna khayega phaat jayega fuggge)
"She got a husband, you will get one soon too, don't worry" (Who's worrying?)
"You have to lower your expectations" (Do you even know what are my expectations?)
"You have to adjust a bit" (Oh yeah, I can see how adjusting you would be for your daughter)

Every girl, has a checklist in her head for her mate. I have a set of decent expectations too.
No I don't want a hot, drop dead gorgeous hunk who drives his Daddy's Merc coz I know I ain't no sexy hot diva.
My expectations are just decent...like perfect in my head

When my parents started the search for me I was about 22-23 then for me only and only looks mattered "Broad shoulders, Nice eyes, Nice mane...nothing else really mattered..neither the family background, nor his job, nor his finances nothing" 

Then "Looks took the back burner, that doesn't mean I was looking for a tad ugly guy, but priorities changed for sure"

I get lines like "Why don't you find a guy for yourself?"
Well, to start with..
I'm lazy to find a guy
I don't know how love feels like
I don't trust my choices
I want my parents to to do the dirty work of finding themselves a Son-in-law

Its not just the elders who poke you with questions, Its even people from your own age or younger pinging or asking you on Whatsapp
"So, hows the groom searching going?"
(Stop looking for gossip)
"Have you got anyone yet?"
(If I did, I wouldn't be tagged Single)
"You should go to weddings and check men out"
(Sorry, I'm too busy checking out the food counter)
"Buddhi ho gayi tu, shadi karle jaldi" (BC....)

I have everything I want in life, a loving supportive family, lots of admirers, enough moolah for shopping and vacations.

Now at 29, I don't feel old.
Yes, I feel matured. I know am ready to marry. I know what I want from life.
But, I want a man who is of my choice. I don't want to marry out to pressure of "others are getting married"
I'm not desperate to get hitched.
I know my wait will be totally worth it


People who are trying hard to hitch me up. Give up. Like seriously, Give up. If I want I can hitch myself up, but I don't want to

People who ask me about my wedding plans. Ask only If you are planning to share the wedding and shopping expenses. Else, Refrain.

People giving marriage advises. According to you, I should be having a baby now huh! That means I am mature enough to handle my life, Right? SO let it be, If I ever wanted an advise, I would ask. So, Thank you and No Thank you

People who ask me my marriage plans, You have no idea how brutally I'm murdering you in my head. If you don't want to be murdered in real then save your self by STFU. Thank you

30 is the new 20, Fuck the biological clock. Science is advanced enough to help women have babies late too with minimal complications. So, that clause is also eliminated.
Now, I got just one sane reason to marry, and that reason happens to be whenever I want to...

Phew!!! Was I venting out or what and I still am not done yet......  
To be continued to next time I get start feeling like venting... :D

Monday, March 3, 2014

The Seduced Forbidden Fruit

She knocks his door and stands seductively as he opens the door for her.
Clad in a transparent low waist saree, flaunting that wet look hair-do, that slim chain over her slender waist, well koeled eyes and glossed lips and that low back, deep cut blouse made a perfect picture and enough to give him an instant hardness in his pants

Lying on the plush couch, talking in soft tones in a dim lit room. The soft music is in the air.

All he sees is her shiny glossed lips when she talks,
How would it feel on his lip?
How would it feel to probe my tongue tasting her?
How would the lips feel after the gloss is off?

Her long, well painted nails, trailing the front of his shirt, he felt his heart thumping so hard that the her finger might just burst it out of his chest.
He wanted to feel the long slender fingers pressed up on his chest, when he is above her
How would her moans sound when he kisses her, holds her by her waist and pulls her to him?

The saree, moves just enough to get a good view of the perfect molds of her body,
How would they feel in the curve of my palms, What color would it be, Dark brown? Pink? Light brown?
How would they feel when his tongue moves over it?
How would it feel to roll it in between his thumb and the index finger?
The thoughts were driving him crazy

How would it feel to dive deep inside her?
How would her warmth feel on him?

He wanted to feel her legs around him, intertwined and head thrown back in passion.
He wanted her then and there.

But, he couldnt have her
No he would never have her
For she is his Forbidden Fruit,
She is his wife's bitch best friend