Friday, September 13, 2013

Perks of Being a Man

I have a lot of guy friends, I have a brother too...there are so many perks of being a guy that I have noticed in my growing life

1. You can stay out all night alone and not get your parents worried sick about you being raped.

2. You guys can do things simple by saying that you are "Dandekars"

3. You can pee standing anywhere, behind the bush, corners of the road, on trees everywhere. We have to either hold it or find a pathetic washroom or a pit to do it. Pee-thatic

3. Having a dick seems pretty cool. I know it probably hurts a lot when you get kicked there and makes it hard to cross your legs, but you get to be the subject rather than the object when it comes to sex (unless you’re a bottom or there is a strap-on involved). That seems more fun.

4. No one stares at your chest when they are talking to you

5. No one pinches your butt in a crowd.

6. No one passes comments in so-called hushed tones which fall clearly into our ears.

7. You can roam around shirtless...or problems

8. The day you forget to wear a banian you wouldnt feel empty and bouncy and hangy.

9. To make a baby, you can just have sex with someone. You don’t have to actually wait for 9 months, grow fat, bear kicks and then have it come tearing and screaming out of your body.

10. If you don’t have children, you just get to be a bachelor who gets more sexy as he ages. If a woman doesn’t have children, everyone worries about her biological clock and advises wrinkle cream to her.

11. Boys cricket gets more footage than girl's cricket. I havent heard about international women's football yet..or League matches for that matter

12. You can eat n eat n eat...grow all round and fat...and not feel a pinch of it...For us women, an extra hanging fat here and there and we become the un-dateables...

13. Using a condom or not is your choice, you aint getting pregnant. Every contraceptive is for women

14. Women have to wear mangalsutra and sindoor as a proof of being married and the man roams around scotfree.

15. We get to hear "Sasural jayegi toh kya kahenge, maa ne itna bhi nahi sikhaya"
We never say "biwi ayegi toh kya kahegi, baap ne itna bhi nahi sikhaya things"

16. If a girl roams with 10 men she is a slut. If a guy roams with 10 women he is a player.

17. if its a scorching hot day, you remove 3 buttons of your shirt and no one gives a damn. If women's shirt one button is open by mistake..the jaws of so many men touches gravity.

18. You cook, you are chef's. We cook. Its our duty

19. You cant cook. its ok...we cant cook, we are domestically pathetic.

20. You swear in every possible language, its so cool. We swear , we are so unladylike

This world is so unfair.....