Thursday, February 28, 2013

Stupid Auto Correct..Stupified Auto Correct..What DAFAQ

Recently, about a few months back. I got myself an Android touch phone. I totally love this phone except fot the Auto-correct mode.
This Auto-Correct button is right beside the space bar button. So, many a times when I try to punch a space, the Auto-Correct button gets pushed and BullS**t happens.

My Auto-correct changes the nicest words to something vulgar and slangs to something nice.

It kills me of embarrasment.
Like for example

1. Fuck becomes FRUCTOSE

2. Sorry, Auto Correct becomes Sorry, Auto C*NT

3. Mail me the pics becomes MALE me the DICKS

4. Im at the doc becomes Im at the DICK

5. Sorry Sir becomes Sorry SUCK

6. Kal mil muje becomes COAL MILL MAZE

7. The uniform is blue becomes the UNICORN is blue

8. Get your pants washed becomes Get your PEN*S washed

9. Inner Peace becomes Inner PEN*S

10. We plan to group at the beach becomes We plan to GROPE at the beach

11. She is a Public Relations Head becomes she is PUBIC Relations DEAD

12. I miss you alot becomes I miss you CLIT

13. That actor Dennis Quaid becomes That actor Dennis QUAIL / QUID / QUADRAPLE

14.  Its a drag race becomes Its  FROG race

15. I streaked my hair red becomes I FREAKED my hair red

16. That pkg will be delivered today becomes The PIG will be delivered today

17. Im having dinner becomes Im having DINOSAUR

18. Im a permanent employee became Im a PREGNANT employee

19. She is the best became She is the BUST

20. Im in the elevator became Im in the ELEPHANT

21. I got it this Monday became I got it this MANB**BS

22. Had a nice walk on the beach became Had a NUDE walk on the beach

23. I got the cake became I got the COCK

24. I love gossips became I love GOAT SHEEP

25. We are fasting became We are FARTING
That's the worst I could think of for now...Will update some huge Epic failure moments if it occurs (Thought I hope it doesn't)....

Dang, You Auto Correct...

PS: The above data is collected from the messages sent to my friends and family on Whatsapp/Sms/Gtalk etc....


  1. Auto Correct has messed up my friends' names. E.g Vickrant Garg becomes "Dick Rant Gorge". "Vishal" becomes "Vehicle", "Veeresh" becomes "Bearish"
    I am helping my friend becomes I'm "humping" my friend. "brother's truck" get's translated into "mother firetruck!" Most embarrassing moment when you hurriedly use the auto-correct saying "I'm "cumming" now. Err.

    Duck you autocorrect! You cannot be my "lifesaber"

    1. hahahahha.... SUper Like and completely agree Archana..

      I regret my sms to my boss...atleast he took it cooly....nice man

  2. No its not stupid. Its the genius of some single track minded indian MCP.
    From points 2,3,4,8,9,10,12,21,22 and 23 you may come to know the origin of the Android's inventor...Just to make people search about the inventor of And roid(u c what i mean ;)) he didnt name it like any existing object/person...

    Cant imagine a petite lady gorging on something humongous as a dinosaur. You must have an awesome appetite D to have a dinosaur for dinner :P

    Are preg employees not supposed to be on maternity leave? Or do they get any additional allowance/perks when pregnant? Poor guys...cant bear kids... no perks :-( waste!

    Club 9 & 13 n you get dennis Quadraple with inner pen*s... how many will he have then?? 4,8,1?... maths/common sense sucks.

    1. Shekhar you have a wild imagination...
      n do dinosaurs exist? well the lady is just a little lady who cant gorge more than 6 pani puris...devouring a whole dinosaur would take me ages :P

      Preg? who? the writer? ohh naw naw..with or without no..too early

      Poor Dennis..He will have an attack if he reads ur comment :P

  3. a second thought... internet browser's auto spell/correct (or whatever damn name the geeks call for the functionality) can also take you to some different page.
    check and
    There are two blogs one of our dear D and another that preaches christianity!! Voila

    1. whhhhhhaaaaatttttttt the name of the sites are same....what how who.... this is insane

  4. Cannot really be too harsh on Auto-correct - got me a great post here :)

    1. Suresh Sir..Try typing with that AUto-nonsense one day please....who will kill it yourself :P

  5. hahahahah
    did u notice that all these could have been avoided with punctuated english and proper grammar?

    1. sms/whatsapp proper english? does anyone really use f\grammar and english there?

    2. many do missy, including yours truly.. :D
      it's called growing up.. :D


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