Wednesday, November 21, 2012

70 Shades of Confessions

Confession: A voluntary intimate revelations about a person's private life or occupation, esp. as presented in a sensationalized form in a book, newspaper, or movie

 I read a book where it said, its nice to confess a few things to a stranger. I am a faceless stranger named DeeDee to my readers and I am gonna confess a few things in public that nobody knows I ever did,

1. In Jr. Kg, I had a massive fight with a guy, who is now my buddy, and i tore off his shirt, ripped those buttons off too.

2. In primary school, my tamil teacher used to punish me in every lecture coz I had a pathetic handwriting, one morning out of sheer anger of being punished every time, I locked her in the staff toilet and never got caught for it

3. I loved to eat mud and slate chalks when I was a kid

4. I used to catch snails in match boxes and smuggle them to school and put them in a senior boy's bag coz he used to bully me in the school bus

5. I have beaten the housemaid with a cricket bat when I was a kid, coz she hit my little one year old brother.

6. I used to keep a safety pin in between my fingers and poke women who used to push me in the train or those lecherous men who tried to act fresh

7. When I was about 2.5 years or 3, I used to run to the cars that had 'PRESS' written on then, I used to press the sign and wait patiently to see what happens.

8. I love those sexy looking outfits in the showrooms, I know I can never wear them, so I try them in the trial room,, admire myself and keep those clothes back in the rack.

9. I have a complete proper conversation with my mirror.

10. When am pissed, the first thing I do is switch my phone off and go unreachable.

11. I love to jump in puddles during the rains

12. I still try to catch those bubbles that the street vendors blow from the bubble making toy.

13. I used to collect chocolate wrappers, bus tickets, stamps, coins, cigarette boxes

14. I hate badly folded newspapers

15. I cant give out those new, crisp, just-out-of the ATM currency notes, I fold them a hundred times before handing it over

16. I love to break the bubbles on the bubble wrap

17. I love to write on moist mirrors and dust laden car windows

18. I have dont mind going for movies alone

19. I don't mind going to the restaurant and eating alone

20. I was pondering to get a tattoo for over 12 years, but took an impulsive decision of getting it done within 3 days

21. I'm not that fond of branded stuff

22. I love to street shop more than the brand shoppe

23. I love certain Himesh Reshamiya songs

24. When am alone, I dance and sing real nasty, but with anyone around I cant even move a limb

25. I always wanted to jump on a trampoline but never got a chance

26. Every time after watching X-men series, I always wonder if I might have any super-powers

27. I love the Gangnam style step

28. When I see a woman, I check her shoes n bag n earrings first only then i notice the outfit.

29. I don't have any dark secrets *sigh*

30. I have never hit the gym or exercised in my life

31. I always wanted a washboard tummy....but never worked towards it

32. Im very organized, except my clothes cupboard

33. Whenever I need to go out on a function or a date, I perinially never find anything worth wearing

34. I have slept in the trains n reached the last station many times during work dayz (reached Virar from Dadar, reached Borivali from dadar, reached kalyan from vt)

36. I have 7 alarms in the gap of 20 mins to wake me up

37. I have shamelessly copied in exams

38. I still believe in fairy tales

39. I loved to be hugged

40. I swoon over jewellery ads and the sarees n jewellery women wear in TV soaps

41. I prefer those cheap sounding item numbers to those meaningful songs (its mood dependent actually) but item numbers are any day preferred

42. I love Ganpati dance

43. I so many times cant say directions...I have to see my hand to tell the cabbie to go left or right

44. I still use my fingers to count

45. I suck at Math

46. I can mug up even 50 pages straight (Ratta popat)

47. I just love to overhear conversations in the train

48. I cry everytime I see Taare Zameen par and I also cry when Leonardo Dicaprio sinks in Titanic

49. I love bikes more than cars...but I prefer having a car than a bike...though I dunno to drive

50. I find fishes ikkkyy...I can never go scuba diving

51. Sometimes, I forget stupid spellings like "the" "and" "then" etc

52. When am nervous I fumble

53. I have slept for 49 hour straight

54. Im shit scared of lizards, cockroaches are icky

55. Im scared of the dark, I keep having this feeling that someone will come and strangle me from behind

56. I believe in ghosts and spirits

57. I read newspapers everyday without fail

58. I love to solve puzzles

59. I dont understand finances, I still read the stock market things almost everyday

60. Im not fond of platinum,

61. I have acted charming to some guy ahead on the long ticket queue to get my tickets soon

62. I have rung doorbells of random houses in random buildings and have run off

63. I haven't used "torrents" even once in my life

64. I cant differentiate between hindi words like "ded" "dhai" "pauna" "sava"

65. When I was a kid, I used to puncture the cycle tyre of a guy coz he used to bully my little bro

66. I hate that squeaky sound that balloons make

67. I have never played monopoly in my life

68. I dont really like to travel by flights. My ears keep hurting for hours. I go deaf

69. Trice I have left my exam paper blank (Math ofcourse) n also that I didnt have anyone around me to copy

70. I learnt to wear a saree from youtube.

duhh..i dinno I had so much to confess...
I think 70 is enough...Platinum jubilee of confessions and nothing really is coming to my mind right now

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Open letter to Girls in Minimal dresses

Dear Chicks in minimal dresses,

Don't get me wrong here for sounding like a octogenarian, but lately I have been noticing many like too many chicks rather chicklets wearing minimal outfits to work and college.

Not that anyone is complaining, about your rising hemlines and falling necklines.
It may be a normal setting in your college or wherever you work but really its so out of place in the local trains and a kind of conservative Indian society.

You might want a lot of attention..You might want to be popular..You might want the hunky football captain to be your boyfriend..but that doesn't mean you roam around strutting your stuff..
Ohh yea..this handkerchief like outfits do get you into trouble for which you wail and expect our innocent men to bear the beatings..

By the way, the Bangkok shopped cutesy little skirts and halter tops go really well and those doll like girls with same skin color toned shapely legs but look absolutely shit to see blackened knees and tree bark like thighs.

For your kindest information, after the initial attraction to your assets men start finding this nakedness boring and too obvious..they still are mama's boys and like the mystery in a woman..its called the dhakao dikhao policy but you girls follow too much into dikhao dikhao policy lately.

They still want to take home a "fully covered" girl to their mommies.

Im not someone who swears on salwar kameezes or is shy to flaunt my stuff..but I sincerely dil se have seen, heard people talking ill about girls wearing insi winsi's even if she is totally innocent
Please start covering yourself, if not for you then for our sanctity..

Sincerely yours,
Someone who dresses appropriately in public places

Monday, November 5, 2012

SOS: Music

I write this while an electronic dubstep track is blaring through my headphones in ear deafening volume..

Its so true that music is an ultimate route to the to the soul. Music can heal. I can take you to a different world altogether.
For me it is true, the moment i shove my earphones in my ear, irrespective of the song blasting into my ears i get transported to an unknown random world. Its like moving into a different horizon all together.

I generally like to keep my volume at the max, so much so that the cell phone flashes across a warning that "this might damage your ear".

And Im almost music illiterate, I cant distinguish between trance and electronic...nor can I tell the difference between metal or rock...for me music is sumthng that pleases me..

Bollywood crappy item numbers, to romantic duets, Hindi classics, to backstreet boys to enigma, to infected mushroom to Pitbull, Jagjit Singh to Himesh Reshammaiya, raunchy vulgar lyrics to meaningful soothing lyrics..I can listen to any music as long as it makes me happy and contented. is directly proportionate to my mood....
But, personally I prefer peppy dancing numbers.... ganpati dance type *mumbaikar in me does a happy dance yooohoo*

And I have this perennial problem with me..once i happen to like a song..i put it in repeat mode and listen to it a gazillion times until i get so bored of it that I don't listen to it for ages....then one fine day I hear the same song being played in some far away place and search for it n play it all over again....

There are so many songs in my playlist in the "played a 1000000 times in the repeat mode and now just occupying space in my songs list"

Some songs tend to remind you of people...yea..many people actually ...

Music is just a part of everyone's life