Wednesday, November 21, 2012

70 Shades of Confessions

Confession: A voluntary intimate revelations about a person's private life or occupation, esp. as presented in a sensationalized form in a book, newspaper, or movie

 I read a book where it said, its nice to confess a few things to a stranger. I am a faceless stranger named DeeDee to my readers and I am gonna confess a few things in public that nobody knows I ever did,

1. In Jr. Kg, I had a massive fight with a guy, who is now my buddy, and i tore off his shirt, ripped those buttons off too.

2. In primary school, my tamil teacher used to punish me in every lecture coz I had a pathetic handwriting, one morning out of sheer anger of being punished every time, I locked her in the staff toilet and never got caught for it

3. I loved to eat mud and slate chalks when I was a kid

4. I used to catch snails in match boxes and smuggle them to school and put them in a senior boy's bag coz he used to bully me in the school bus

5. I have beaten the housemaid with a cricket bat when I was a kid, coz she hit my little one year old brother.

6. I used to keep a safety pin in between my fingers and poke women who used to push me in the train or those lecherous men who tried to act fresh

7. When I was about 2.5 years or 3, I used to run to the cars that had 'PRESS' written on then, I used to press the sign and wait patiently to see what happens.

8. I love those sexy looking outfits in the showrooms, I know I can never wear them, so I try them in the trial room,, admire myself and keep those clothes back in the rack.

9. I have a complete proper conversation with my mirror.

10. When am pissed, the first thing I do is switch my phone off and go unreachable.

11. I love to jump in puddles during the rains

12. I still try to catch those bubbles that the street vendors blow from the bubble making toy.

13. I used to collect chocolate wrappers, bus tickets, stamps, coins, cigarette boxes

14. I hate badly folded newspapers

15. I cant give out those new, crisp, just-out-of the ATM currency notes, I fold them a hundred times before handing it over

16. I love to break the bubbles on the bubble wrap

17. I love to write on moist mirrors and dust laden car windows

18. I have dont mind going for movies alone

19. I don't mind going to the restaurant and eating alone

20. I was pondering to get a tattoo for over 12 years, but took an impulsive decision of getting it done within 3 days

21. I'm not that fond of branded stuff

22. I love to street shop more than the brand shoppe

23. I love certain Himesh Reshamiya songs

24. When am alone, I dance and sing real nasty, but with anyone around I cant even move a limb

25. I always wanted to jump on a trampoline but never got a chance

26. Every time after watching X-men series, I always wonder if I might have any super-powers

27. I love the Gangnam style step

28. When I see a woman, I check her shoes n bag n earrings first only then i notice the outfit.

29. I don't have any dark secrets *sigh*

30. I have never hit the gym or exercised in my life

31. I always wanted a washboard tummy....but never worked towards it

32. Im very organized, except my clothes cupboard

33. Whenever I need to go out on a function or a date, I perinially never find anything worth wearing

34. I have slept in the trains n reached the last station many times during work dayz (reached Virar from Dadar, reached Borivali from dadar, reached kalyan from vt)

36. I have 7 alarms in the gap of 20 mins to wake me up

37. I have shamelessly copied in exams

38. I still believe in fairy tales

39. I loved to be hugged

40. I swoon over jewellery ads and the sarees n jewellery women wear in TV soaps

41. I prefer those cheap sounding item numbers to those meaningful songs (its mood dependent actually) but item numbers are any day preferred

42. I love Ganpati dance

43. I so many times cant say directions...I have to see my hand to tell the cabbie to go left or right

44. I still use my fingers to count

45. I suck at Math

46. I can mug up even 50 pages straight (Ratta popat)

47. I just love to overhear conversations in the train

48. I cry everytime I see Taare Zameen par and I also cry when Leonardo Dicaprio sinks in Titanic

49. I love bikes more than cars...but I prefer having a car than a bike...though I dunno to drive

50. I find fishes ikkkyy...I can never go scuba diving

51. Sometimes, I forget stupid spellings like "the" "and" "then" etc

52. When am nervous I fumble

53. I have slept for 49 hour straight

54. Im shit scared of lizards, cockroaches are icky

55. Im scared of the dark, I keep having this feeling that someone will come and strangle me from behind

56. I believe in ghosts and spirits

57. I read newspapers everyday without fail

58. I love to solve puzzles

59. I dont understand finances, I still read the stock market things almost everyday

60. Im not fond of platinum,

61. I have acted charming to some guy ahead on the long ticket queue to get my tickets soon

62. I have rung doorbells of random houses in random buildings and have run off

63. I haven't used "torrents" even once in my life

64. I cant differentiate between hindi words like "ded" "dhai" "pauna" "sava"

65. When I was a kid, I used to puncture the cycle tyre of a guy coz he used to bully my little bro

66. I hate that squeaky sound that balloons make

67. I have never played monopoly in my life

68. I dont really like to travel by flights. My ears keep hurting for hours. I go deaf

69. Trice I have left my exam paper blank (Math ofcourse) n also that I didnt have anyone around me to copy

70. I learnt to wear a saree from youtube.

duhh..i dinno I had so much to confess...
I think 70 is enough...Platinum jubilee of confessions and nothing really is coming to my mind right now


  1. I doubt you were 3 when you could read and understand PRESS......... anyways HRs every song is worth liking I believe.

    1. i was 3 odd....coz press jump etc etc kids have it in jr kg...

      n HR ka not all songs are likable re....a few surely are...but some people hate all his nasal songs

  2. Good read Dee.

    An opinion poll might tell that points 6,8,10,13,15,17,24,26,29,31,33,37,43,52,54,55,59 are the most common confessions while points 23,42 and 43 many might deny them out right feeling embarrassed about these well kept secrets.
    Let anyone deny on HR numbers, remind them of his nasal crooning in Ashiq banaya aapne being played in most Ganpati mandals...and count till the latest to hit the stand with Khiladi Kumar lip syncing to the numbers like "O Bawariya" or "Hooka Bar" in Khiladi 786 :-)
    Points 11,12,16,38,62 gives vent to the kid in you and reminds me of my childhood days too, specially the bubble wraps and jumping in puddles during rains.

    Scroll up and search point 35...another indicator of your weakness of maths :P

    "ded" = sade ek
    "dhai" = sade do :-) heard people say this and sade ek too!!
    "pauna" means 3/4th. Like paune do means quarter to two or 1:45 if referring to time
    "sava" means 1/4th.Like sava do means quarter past two or 2:15 if referring to time

    Now, you see our rashtriya bhasha is equally phunny like angrezi where tomorrow and yesterday refer to kal while quarter refer to sava and pauna :-)

    I hope your tam teacher doesn't follow ur blogs...Now that you have let out the 'SECRET' !! Would love to see your reaction if she meets you in the market place.

  3. Woow wooowww woooowwwww this was so so koool..i think the coolest comment yet....

    you have been to meticulous in noting the points super impressive

    *bows to you shekhar*

  4. press??
    2-3 yr olds are how tall??
    unless they r a descendant of Mr. Fantastic from the fantastic 4...


  5. i mean someone myt have had to pick up the toddler u to press the press sign.. :P

    1. PRESS used to be written on the front glass of the Maruti 800 then dear...3 years i was a tall kid :P


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